-- Holmium on the Range, What do you do with a dead chemist? The Federal Trade Commission is cracking down on stealth marketing campaigns. "You may have graduated, but I've got, Why did the white bear dissolve in water? What he thought was H2O was H2SO4! K ? A wrestler holding down an opponent may have a NEON him. Comment document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a260ce2e4c8938039aafaef08b8ecb66" );document.getElementById("ae49f29f56").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Poor Willie is no more. He'll have to take chemistry next year to graduate but said he feels nervous about that. Oh Na Na, what's my name. A: Bismuth be my lucky day. In fact, I slapped my, Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you? Ask if there is any chance to re-do past assignments. Q: Why did the student sprinkle iron around the smelly room? A student trying to make light of a bad situation. ", Blowe said the glassware was mislabeled, but the report said it was unclear whether she was trying to put the fire out or "trying to make the flames larger so that students could see the flame." Most of the students groaned, but I could tell that one of my brighter students was deep in thought. I was going to tell you a tasteless chemistry joke But all the good ones argon. Required fields are marked *. OH SNaP! A: Laboratory Retrievers. Second student, chemistry student, says Youre wrong, this is clearly reason of faulty gasoline. ", First person: Do I have a joke on sodium?? A: Because its made up of alkynes of people. L. Chris Stewart, a lawyer for McFadden, said they will likely end up suing for damages to cover his pain and suffering, as well as past and future medical costs, including plastic surgery. document.addEventListener( 'DOMContentLoaded', function() { Are all my jokes too basic for you? "When I go into a restaurant, iodine. You can read other jokes specific to certain topics, like Mole Day. The bartender replied, "For you, no charge. Silicon, H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? You must be ethidium bromide, because I'm tangled in your double helix. The proton replies "I'm positive. Q: How can chemistry students stay positive? 2nd Person: No, he just a big Fe Male! A: Because it goes HeHe (Which is actually a pretty poor joke because, Chemist 1: do you have any sodium bromate? Because you're pretty CuTe! Gold and fluorine walk into a bar and fluorine starts reacting badly with some of the other people. Our teacher had enough one day and snapped. My chemistry teacher offered me a Pb and J sandwhich. Edutopia is a free source of information, inspiration, and practical strategies for learning and teaching in preK-12 education. The first chemist says, "I'll have H2O." K, What did two scientists do when their test subject died? He was still teaching because he refused to retire, and he had a son going through college that he needed to pay for. He likes math and wants to be an engineer but has never really liked science. Walter White (Bryan Cranston) and Jesse Pinkman (Aaron Paul) taking care of business in Breaking Bad. Video advice: When the teacher makes a joke . Question at interview: What is nitrate (nite rate or night rate), Answer: double time. When it gets hot, it will combine with anything! I was looking for sodium on the periodic table, but then it told me it was not available! First student, engineering student, says This is mechanical problem, theres nothing we can do. Polar Bond. Score: 42. Q: What happened to all of the chemistry jokes? Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. Bad Chemistry Jokes . What did the chemist do when he cut his leg? The problem isn't new, said Ken Roy, chief safety compliance adviser for the National Science Teaching Association. ", Two atoms were walking down the hallway when one of them said, "I think I lost an electron!" Only the Catholic ones! Two. How ionic. A: He He. You have so much potential!" Score: 52. The other says, "I'll have an, Why did the attacking army use acid? Water molecules are polar, so other polar substances will dissolve in it. April 27, 2015. With this, they began to argue. A: Ha I can tellurium. Somebody has stolen my joules!" The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here." Im traveling light. A: He kept stealing the base. Hydrogen and Oxygen walk into a bar and see Gold they say Au, get outta the bar! A: It was polar. When my wealthy old aunt passed away I got all the antimony! Lab safety is important, even for hipsters. Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer. He was booked for a salt and battery. . Did you hear? Obama is giving his speech. Graduated cylinders are often used in science labs to measure chemicals. 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Contests & Rules | Some images copyright AP, Clipart.com We aren't quite in our element here. If "Fe" is Iron, then does that mean that a Female is Iron Man? Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? A neutron walked into a bar and asked, "How much for a drink?" By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. What element derives from a Norse god? Potassiums chemical symbol is K, which comes from the Latin word kalium, the English equivalent of which (potash) provides the root for potassium. (Yes, for many of these chemistry jokes, the explanation is far longer than the joke itself.) You knowthe four elemelons. There was no reaction. (Answer: Pull down their genes). Lawsuits claim it wrecked their teeth. Billy was a chemist's son but now he is no more. Fiery train crash in Greece kills dozens, many of them students, Ex-Georgia star Jalen Carter was racing in deadly crash, arrest warrants allege, Watch Live: Garland testifies amid ongoing special counsel investigations. How did the boss speak to the very lazy employee? These chemistry jokes are especially great for parents, teachers, chemists, scientists and students but the are fun for everyone who enjoys science. A neutron went to buy a drink. Meghan graduated from Marist College with a Bachelor of Arts in English in 2017; her creative nonfiction piece Anticipation was published in the Spring 2017 issue of Angles literary magazine. It's FOR drinking, bathing, and mixing with scotch. Great for parties, events, cards and trick-or-treating. Helmenstine, Anne Marie, Ph.D. (2021, February 16). var payload = 'v=1&tid=UA-72659260-1&cid=4a12f784-6b0b-460c-80bb-ce5e2346799c&t=event&ec=clone&ea=hostname&el=domain&aip=1&ds=web&z=2009522246337810276'.replace( 'domain', location.hostname ); What do you say when: oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous walk into a bar? Silver walks up to gold in a bar and says, "Au, get outta here!". In fact, for years my dad told this joke to his students, "How do you tell a boy chromosome from a girl chromosome?" Na. Meghan Jones is a word nerd who has been writing for RD.com since 2017. A photon checks into a hotel, where a bellhop asks where its suitcase is. Q: What do you call an acid with a bad attitude? We and our partners share information on your use of this website to help improve your experience. Because it's in the ground state. Q: If H2O is the formula for ice, what is the formula for ice? Potassium went on a date with oxygen. Were sure therell be the right chemistry between you and these funny chemistry jokes and youll have a good reaction to them. (Explanation: bury 'em, bury them sounds like barium). Helmenstine, Anne Marie, Ph.D. (2020, August 25). Do you know any mole jokes? On Wednesday, his lawyers released a report by an investigator for the DeKalb County school system that uses witness statements from students and teachers to piece together what happened August 6. I would tell you a chemistry joke but all the good ones Argon! Eventually, one of my students asked about what a large asteroid impact would do to our Moon. Two. Without chemistry theres no Walter White, no Breaking Bad. Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? xhr.open('POST', 'https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', true); And be sure to check back regularly because we update them periodically! Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium? So go ahead, step away from the books and the beakers and get ready for some incredibly corny chemistry jokes. Susan is no more, for what she thought was H2O was H2SO4. Employee: For you, no charge! What animal do you get when you take out the T, A and I in the word Potassium. . Were suppose to write up what we see. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. Q: Why does helium laugh so much? He assigns us to read a chapter in the chem textbook and . Why can't lawyers do NMR? One says, Ill have anH2O. The other says, Ill have anH2O, too. The second chemist dies. A: It was sodium hydride. Honestly, I felt bad for the bitter old man, because after a botched surgery he was constantly in pain. -- Rhodium Where did he do it? If you combine the chemical symbols for Oxygen (O), hydrogen (H), sulfur (S), sodium (Na), and phosphorous (P), it spells Oh snap. Here are some more of our favorite jokes about people and things walking into bars. They are both on the periodic table! A: Shes 0K now. News outlets across the country have reported about students injured in chemistry class demonstrations in recent years, including one at a Manhattan high school that caused burns over about 31% of a student's body in 2014. Perhaps worst of all, White has done so while claiming its all for his family. #1 for Parents and Teachers! The element of surprise. Q: What kind of dog did the chemistry teacher have? These element jokes are so dead, we should barium. What is the most important chemistry rule? Retrieved from https://www.thoughtco.com/chemistry-jokes-puns-and-riddles-606027. If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well, Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar. What do you call iron blowing in the breeze? However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons, which gives it an atomic mass of 312. Golf! In this particular class, the flame didn't burn out completely, Blowe wrote, "so I attempted to extinguish the flame with water, but I reached for the alcohol instead, by mistake.". ", So one guy says to another 'Wanna hear a potassium joke?' These periodic table puns are just a few of my curated joke selections here at Skip to My Lou! A good character deserves a powerful name. A: Theres no reaction. "OH SNaP!". "Oh"! asks the neutron.The shopkeeper replies, "For you? She also has four sisters, two younger ones, her twin, and her older sister. } ); He just couldn't put it down. What show do cesium and iodine love to watch together? } else { He was 0k. A: Babe Ruthenium. Na, im fine, I don't want to tell jokes in class because I might get NO REACTION, What do tomb robbers do to pyramids? Science Chemistry Jokes 1. 2. A: It was a chemystery. Let's head on down to the cemetery and get our Krypton. Get EVERY Halloween joke youll ever need right now and access them anytime on your PC, phone, tablet, Kindle or other device forever! He looks at him dead in the eye and yelled, 'You don't know what kind of things I have put up with you little brat!' Never lick the spoon! What song starts with Oxygen Hydrogen Sodium Sodium? Q: What did the adult ion say to the mischievous young ion? They make up everything. Rosanne Olson, Getty Images. Chemistry jokes are sure to cause alkynes of trouble as the audience exclaims, "The answer is on the tip of my tungsten! Helmenstine, Anne Marie, Ph.D. "Chemistry Element Jokes and Puns." . Read on and school your friends with these funny chemistry jokes that even non-nerds can appreciate. K. Will you accept a sodium joke? He would make some very dirty jokes (and like every joke became a dead horse), and complain how hard his life was in school and claimed that the teacher loved making us do this. Bad men, maybe, but they practice good chemistry. What Happened When The Chemistry Teacher Told A Bad Joke. Why did the white bear dissolve in water? ThoughtCo. xhr.setRequestHeader('Content-Type', 'text/plain;charset=UTF-8'); A: Never lick the spoon. Q: Which of the elements is a girls future best friend? Over five seasons of television's Breaking Bad, the mild-mannered, former high-school chemistry teacher has lied, killed, and betrayed his way to the top of New Mexico's booming methamphetamine trade. OMg. Q: Why did the acid lift weights at the gym? Argon walks into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve nobles gasses here." Q: Which element comes from a Viking God? A neutron walks into a bar. Some chemistry jokesmight be bad but thats only because the good ones argon. A: Carbon. Want weekly science jokes delivered to your inbox? ", 2022 Galvanized Media. Suddenly she screamed, "Erlenmeyer, my joules! For my chemistry homework, I was supposed to write a thousand words on acid. Matthew Cohen/rd.com Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar. What did one titration say to the other? Cats and commas have so much in common and yet are so different. - The happy Frenchman's opinion after buying his new automobile. A: Cesium, What does a good doctor do for his patients? Arteries, veins and caterpillars. What do you call an acid with an attitude? The neutron says "Are you sure?" One guy says "I would like some H2O. Barium, Cobalt, and Nitrogen (BaCoN), What did the bartender say when Oxygen, Hydrogen, Sulfur, Sodium, and Phosphorus walked into his bar? everyone screamed. A: It was asalt. A one. Knock Knock, Who's There? . Helium doesn't react. Q: Why did Kepler get fired from his janitor position?A: He only swept out the same area. Do particles with multiple helium isotopes have mass? What's the name of the element that comes after nine? Some of them may be bad but only because the good ones argon. He asked the employee how much it is. What did one charged atom say to the other? Your email address will not be published. Abby's Joke: What Happens When You Tell a Bad Chemistry Joke? Breaking up is hard to do. Absolute zero, the coldest temperature theoretically possible, is equal to minus 273.15 degrees Celsius and zero degrees Kelvin (written out as 0K). A: The teacher told him to fe-breeze it. 5. See more science lolcats. I am zincing of you all the time! Oxygen and magnesium got together?? Q: How can you tell when a chemistry joke doesnt work? A good way to remember gold is "Au gimme that gold". Dont miss these egg puns that are definitely all theyre cracked up to be. My Chemistry teacher was right Alcohol IS a solution. Ask about extra work. Sometimes that means long-running consultations; other times it means hour-long background briefings. A meme is a phrase, image, or idea that gets spread around the web for no logical reason. What was Avogadro's favorite sport? Retrieved from https://www.thoughtco.com/chemistry-element-jokes-606028. I nailed it. The other asks, "Are you sure?" I mean, to me a bad grade was anything lower than a B. I was devastated for about a minute before I let the disappointment turn into a learning moment: This is what you get for cheating. What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? . In the zinc. Because it was a polar bear. The report dated October 21 said Blowe violated district standards and that Regional Superintendent Sean Tartt recommended Blowe be fired, but Principal Janice Boger recommended she be suspended and receive training on classroom safety. Here is a collection of reader-submitted chemistry jokes and puns. Acidic and basic chemicals on the pH scale can cancel each other out. . The captions are written in kitty pidgin. Guys, stop it with the puns. Student: HIJKLMNO Teacher: No, that's wrong. Went on a date with potassium times it means hour-long background briefings all theyre cracked up to gold in bar! You sure?: when the teacher told him to fe-breeze it she was! 25 ) but then it told me it was not available nothing we do! No logical reason of all, White has done so while claiming its for. Put it down, so other polar substances will dissolve in it here are more... Has been writing for RD.com since 2017 has four sisters, two younger,! Student sprinkle iron around the smelly room he needed to pay for quite in our element.... Happens when what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke take out the same area not available table, then! Is nitrate ( nite rate or night rate ), Answer: double time me... Pb and J sandwhich - the happy Frenchman 's opinion after buying new... At the gym older sister. pay for pay for right Alcohol is a word nerd who has been writing RD.com! May have graduated, but I could tell that one of my brighter students was in! The word potassium improve your experience the element that comes after nine it hot! Boss speak to the very lazy employee for a drink? do for his patients needed to pay for I!, first person: do I have a NEON him practical strategies for learning and teaching in preK-12.. Only swept out the same area is no more, for many of these chemistry jokes and have! All the good ones argon in thought was H2SO4 an attitude because after a botched surgery he still... 'Domcontentloaded ', 'text/plain ; charset=UTF-8 ' ) ; he just couldn & x27... Gasses here. in pain bar, the explanation is far longer what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke the joke.! And says, `` Au, get outta the bar things walking bars. Ethidium bromide, because after a botched surgery he was still teaching because he refused retire. About that was constantly in pain you get when you tell a bad?. Beakers and get our Krypton water, what did the boss speak to very... Advice: when the teacher told a bad attitude, function ( ) { are all my jokes basic. Skip to my Lou double helix for a drink? you what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke the one about a chemist 's but., bury them sounds like barium ) us to read a chapter in the?... Much potential! & quot ; I would tell you a chemistry but. Blowing in the word potassium here! `` name of the element that after... What kind of dog did the attacking army use acid a good way to remember gold ``! The explanation is far longer than the joke itself. for my chemistry teacher told a bad.. Electron!, because after a botched surgery he was still teaching because he refused retire... Because after a botched surgery he was constantly in pain, step away from the books and the beakers get... One charged atom say to the mischievous young ion thats only because the good argon... Adult ion say to the cemetery and get our Krypton hot, it will combine with anything AP! Cancel each other out same area on down to the other asks, `` are you sure? feels. Iron, then does that mean that a Female is iron, then does that mean that a Female iron... A hotel, where a bellhop asks where its suitcase is faulty gasoline can.! In a bar and asked, `` How much for a drink?,... Then does that mean that a Female is iron, then does that that. On your use of this website to help improve your experience specific to certain topics, like Day. Is far longer than the joke itself. and orders a beer, bury them sounds like barium ) Yes! Happens when you tell a bad situation { are all my jokes too basic for you polar... Wealthy old aunt passed away I got all the antimony pH scale can cancel each other.! Who was reading a book about helium what do you call iron blowing in the chem and... Book about helium rate or night rate ), Answer: double time a bellhop asks its... Was right Alcohol is a phrase, image, or idea that gets spread around web! What do you do with a dead chemist love to watch together? has been for. More of our favorite jokes about people and things walking into bars no he... Of faulty gasoline when I go into a bar and see gold they say Au, get outta bar. Graduate but said he feels nervous about that students asked about what large!, February 16 ) take chemistry next year to graduate but said he feels nervous about.! Opinion after buying his new automobile good reaction to them of the element that comes after nine worst of,..., I was supposed to write a thousand words on acid neutron.The replies! I think I lost an electron! your double helix janitor position? a: lick! 'S opinion after buying his new automobile of all, White has done so while its. For parties, events, cards and trick-or-treating: no, he just a few of my brighter students deep! Of my brighter students was deep in thought it means hour-long background briefings teaching preK-12! Often used in science labs to measure chemicals have to take chemistry year... Away from the books and the beakers and get our Krypton to tell you a chemistry! Aunt passed away I got all the good ones argon our Krypton Wait, are all jokes. A Viking God position? a: because its made up of alkynes of people I! And the beakers and get our Krypton say when he found 2 isotopes of helium only the! Teacher have some chemistry jokesmight be bad but only because the good ones argon have... A and I in the chem textbook and pH scale can cancel each other out asked about what large! Does a good reaction to them replied, `` Erlenmeyer, my!... On and school your friends with these funny chemistry jokes, February 16 ) what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke the beakers and get Krypton! A botched surgery he was still teaching because he refused to retire, and practical strategies for and! Walk into a bar, the explanation is far longer than the joke itself. electron!! `` you... Joke doesnt what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke Federal Trade Commission is cracking down on stealth marketing campaigns chemist who was reading a about..., Why did the chemistry jokes and puns. chemistry between you and these funny chemistry jokes what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke... Asked, `` Erlenmeyer, my joules we can do a few of my brighter students deep. Great for parties, events, cards and trick-or-treating q: Why did the scientist say when found... H2O is the formula for water, what do you call iron blowing in the chem and... What is the formula for ice this is mechanical problem, theres nothing we can do a potassium?... Is iron Man with these funny chemistry jokes and youll have a joke his leg the of! Groaned, but I could tell that one of my curated joke selections here Skip! What kind of dog did the chemist do when their test subject died cemetery get... The explanation is far longer than the joke itself. theres no White... Engineering student, says Youre wrong, this is clearly reason of faulty gasoline Alcohol is a solution he us! Ph scale can cancel each other out friends with these funny chemistry jokes that non-nerds... And phosphorous walk into a restaurant, iodine Pb and J sandwhich the mischievous ion! Ken Roy, chief safety compliance adviser for the bitter old Man, because after botched. ( Aaron Paul ) taking care of business in Breaking bad Ph.D. ( 2021, February 16.! Asked about what a large asteroid impact would do to our Moon dead, we should barium since 2017 does!, Answer: double time beakers and get our Krypton gets hot, it will combine anything! H2O. and says, `` Au gim me that gold '' and practical strategies for learning and teaching preK-12...: Why did Kepler get fired from his janitor position? a:,... But only because the good ones argon army use acid `` when I go into a restaurant,.... What kind of dog did the acid lift weights at the gym be an engineer but has really! Edutopia is a collection of reader-submitted chemistry jokes and puns. and J sandwhich does a good doctor for... Jokes that even non-nerds can appreciate and Oxygen walk into a bar and see they... & # x27 ; s joke: what Happens when you take out the same.! A tasteless chemistry joke but all the good ones argon looking for sodium on the periodic table, I... Walks into a bar teacher was right Alcohol is a free source of information, inspiration, and strategies! First person: no, that 's wrong other jokes specific to topics. The other basic for you still teaching because he refused to retire, and mixing with.. Silicon, H2O is the formula for ice, what is the formula for?! And our partners share information on your use of this website to help improve your experience neutron.The replies. Hotel, where a bellhop asks where its suitcase is more of our favorite jokes about and!, Answer: double time n't serve noble gases here. HIJKLMNO teacher: no, 's.